Impostor syndrome: an actor’s story
Impostor syndrome. It’s like the Trojan horse, a seemingly malign force attacking you from within. Chipping away at your self confidence, Tying your tongue in pitch meetings, job interviews and auditions. I have met so many talented people from all walks of life who have achieved great success; creative directors, copywriters, actors and entrepreneurs. And had worked so hard for that success. Yet still had that nagging doubt in the back of their head telling them that they were not fully deserving of their position in society. But what exactly is impostor syndrome? And how can hypnotherapy help?
Impostor syndrome is that feeling that, for whatever reason, we do not deserve to be here. A nagging voice from deep within our subconscious telling us that we are an impostor and that we don’t really have a right to be here. But what may cause this feeling? After all, if you have become a successful chef, an award winning creative in the advertising industry, walking onstage at the Old Vic or making your way through the crowd to collect your D&AD award, your Kinsale shark or BAFTA, logic dictates that you have an irrefutable measure of your own success, right?
The clients I work with tend to have one or two things in common. Often, (though by no means exclusively), they spent their childhood or early teens having their sense of self challenged, either by bullying or harsh criticism. Indeed, this may be a source of much of their creative drive, a way of escape, of proving people wrong, of carving out an identity for themselves. Success provides the emotional cushion insulating them from the pain they once faced. Though this situation can affect rich and poor alike, it’s certainly common for me to meet clients from working class backgrounds who have spent what seems like their whole childhood being told that success is not part of their life story. From parents, teachers, siblings and even friends. Is it any wonder that they cary that self doubt within them, despite the evidence they face to the contrary?
This feeling of insecurity is by no means confined to those of lower socio-economic groups who have “done well for themselves”. It also can affect people from more affluent backgrounds who, for example, had over-critical parents and/or a favoured sibling to live up to. The key seems to be that, irrespective of our background, if we spend our formative years being told we are not worthy, then when we do actually achieve success it is difficult to trust that the situation may be temporary or is somehow a mistake.
Impostor syndrome bubbles up, making them fluff their lines at the audition, pitch or interview. Their body language screams out “I shouldn’t really be here. Give the job to someone more deserving”. Or it may lead to increased anxiety, as the person struggles away at work, destroying relationships with a workaholic angst, seeking self-medication in alcohol and other substances. In extremis, the mind shuts down: loss of mojo, burnout. In this article I explore how Impostor syndrome affected one particular client. If you recognise yourself in this article and wish to discuss things further please contact me.